Southern Nicknames

Anyone who claims that they are Southern Americans, must possess these three things: 1. A love of sweet tea 2. A hate for cornbread with sugar in it (cake) and 3. A nickname.

 Poor souls that are currently shoveling snow near the New Jersey state line in April, need not apply.

You can go into any barbeque joint in the South and yell out: “Hey Bubba or Hey Buddy or Hey Sissy,” and every head will turn toward the door thinking their truck was left running.

Southerners have been known to call a friend “Cousin” or “Aunt” without having any blood relationship to that person. Sometimes, Cousin is pronounced “Cuddin.”  Example: “Did you hear that’ Cuddin Annie’ wanted to donate her hip to the new preacher but ‘Cuddin Marvene,’ told her that it wouldn’t fit? At least, that is what’ Aunt Sis’ said.”

Annie, Marvene and Sis would never run into each other at a family reunion. As “deep water Baptists,” they never spoke to each other in the likker store since they were there for medicinal purposes. They always bought Mogan David for cooking.

I grew up with people named “Flashlight,”” Slick,”“ Snaky,” “ Punky” and “ Hot.” Throw in “Dink,” “Muley,” and “Teacake” and you get the picture. Some of the older men were called “Fat,” “Pig,” “Hob,” “Booster,” and “Snuffy.”

I didn’t even know ‘Slick” Dotson’s first name.  I do know that he sold enough worms at the corner of River Road and County Line Road to catch half the bream and bass in Gnat Pond off Sixth Street. Slick was one of the first to pay a dollar an hour to gather red wigglers in his worm beds.

 Not far from Gnat Pond, was where “Happy” James lived after he married Florence Counts. It seems like they were both in their 70’s when they exchanged their vows.

 “Slick” and “Happy” were characters.

Yankees just call their friends: Theodore, Timothy, Bartholomew or Thaddeus. No wonder my Daddy changed his name from Thaddeus to James. Thaddeus sounded like a northern name and that dog wouldn’t hunt.

 We might call them “Cornbread,” “Skippy,” “Runt” and “Big Slop.”

Speaking of “Big Slop,” we had a manager on our football team at Louisville who was called “Big Sloppy.” He could put away some groceries. What a name to go through life with.

An older friend of mine who lived on Percy Sledge Lane, was named Tommy Preuitt.  No one called him Tommy.  He went by the name of” Flashlight.”  He had blue eyes: one blew east and the other blew west. He would walk from the Grove in Leighton to the high school, just to watch our baseball games. Flashlight would sit on the red clay above the first base line and cheer as though we were his favorite major league team. This was in the early days of integration.

 “Flashlight” was a big fan of the St. Louis Cardinals and thought that Bob Gibson could pitch 9 innings and strike out all 27 batters. He loved visiting with me about our team at Felton’s when I was there sacking groceries on Saturdays.

One of the best football coaches to ever play and coach in the SEC is revered by both Alabama and Auburn. He played under Coach Bryant at Alabama; coached at Alabama twice and was a successful defensive coordinator at Auburn. This gentleman’s first name is Bill.  We all knew him as “Brother” Oliver.

Stories about “Brother” are legendary. Ask Gino Torretta of the 1992 Miami Hurricanes. Brother recently passed away at Lake Martin.

When I was the director of Bryant Hall at Alabama, we had 132 student-athletes residing there; 14 of these were basketball players.  The basketball coach at the time was named Wynfrey. He went into the hall of fame as “Wimp” Sanderson.” Wimp” and his wife Annette were big supporters of UAB and breast cancer research. She was a breast cancer survivor.

My oldest first cousin grew up in Selma.  His given name is Milton. When Susan and I were in Selma to hear Sean Dietrich speak, I was introduced to a gentleman who grew up with Milton and went to A.G. Parrish High School.

He said: “Oh, you mean “Punky?”

I told him that he was the first person, other than his cousins, that ever called him “Punky” instead of Milton.  He is a far cry from a “Punky.” He is over 6’4” tall.

One of the most talented artists that I have ever known has a studio in Leighton called “Bliss Ally.”  Mark Chamblee bought and renovated the old building at the corner of Oak and Main Street. We have 3 of Mark’s paintings that we bought at the St. Jude’s Trail ride and auction.

Anyone who grew up in Leighton, however, refer to this building as the “funny book” building.  This was where you paid your utility bill and bought magazines and books.

 It was operated by “Tater” McCormick. By the way, it was down the street from “Dude” Whitlock’s store. They were simply known as “Tater” and “Dude.” 

One of their best friends, was “Fat” Ritchie. He was the father of one of my teammates, Dennis Ritchie who we lost way too soon. His kids, Dennis and Mary Alice, shared “Fat” with us for years.

Back in the day, can you imagine a poor yankee, catching a bus in White Oak and heading north on County Line Road to Leighton.  To find a seat on the bus, she would have to stroll past “Flashlight,” “Happy,” “Slick,” Punky,” “Tater,” “Fat,” “Wimp,” “Brother,” and “Big Sloppy?” By the way, the bus driver was named Hoochie Posey.

The stop in Leighton, would be at “Toots” diner, run by “Toot” Waldrep. Here is where you could get a 5-star meal for a 2-star price. Excellent.

I just heard that the special today is pinto beans and turnip greens.

It will be a blast.

Pun intended.