Friend Categories
As we get older and we develop more wrinkles than a Shar-pei Hound, we start to cherish friends more than ever. It’s been said repeatedly that our priorities revolve around 3 F’s: Faith, Family and Friends.
When you get on the other side of 70, our bodies start to break down and fall apart like a $690 used car that Julio said ran like a top. It was too bad it didn’t run like a car. We found out it stayed together with duct tape, Bondo and Super Glue. Julio didn’t reveal that ether had to be sprayed in the carburetor to get it going.
A friend who went through a recent traumatic health scare said she could not have made it without friends. When times get tough, TRUE friends unite. Like many of you, we have all been there. Her greatest compliment was this: “I knew I had good friends before my procedure. During and since then, I know I have GREAT friends who will always be there for each other.”
Often when a friend loses a loved one, we ask ourselves: ”What difference does it make if I am not at the funeral? There will be hundreds of others there.” Then, about 2 months later, the friend who lost their parent will say this: “You never will know how much it meant to me for you to drive for hours to be at the service. Seeing you gave me additional comfort.”
By last count, all my classmates have lost their parents. Many of them cooked me dozens of cathead biscuits and chicken fried chicken. They also corrected me when I stepped over the proverbial line and I will forever be grateful. We never envisioned the day that we would all be the remaining generation.
I am guilty of casually calling someone a “dear friend” or a “lifelong friend.” I thank God daily for my friends and also pray for those who aren’t as fortunate.
I have dear friends that I have known for 70 years. I also have some who are just as close to me that I have known for less than 3 years. This is not to diminish either. We recently went on an 8-day cruise with 8 other dear friend couples that we call our Destin Family Friends.
For various reasons, the rest of our Destin family, including couples Rusty and Colleen, Jerry and Tammy, Greg and Velda, Frank and Molly, Al and Kim, Mark and Sally, Charlie and Linda, Jim and Lisa, and Teresa Colvin couldn’t be with us on the cruise. They were truly missed.
Since our schools in Leighton went from the first through the 12th grade, many of us spent 12 years together. Talk about close. You knew each other’s family structure, where the parents worked, where they went to church and who in the family was crazier than a sprayed roach. To this day, we can go months or years without seeing each other and get back together at reunions, funerals or at the St. Jude Trail Ride and pick up like it was yesterday. Old friends like these form the foundation that our values are built upon. We might not remember what we had for breakfast yesterday, but we can still recall what was said in a locker room, huddle or classroom more than 60 years ago with friends.
No yankee psychologist will ever be able to explain how we can remember the winning shot against Leighton Training School, the rodeo clown named Lecille, Mr. Newman’s cigar box or the stores closing at noon on Wednesday. Or, the parking lot full of 1968 Chevelles, the school pride of the CCHS cheerleaders, or the twenty sophomore players who went from the “hamburger team” to a senior class of 1970 who won their last seven games of the year. Our friendship remains stronger than 40 acres of garlic.
Through the years, we developed different “friend groups.” Work friends. Church friends. Social friends. And today, Facebook friends. As a former teacher and coach, many of our truest friends today are with former students and players. As we age, we transform from a coach-player relationship to one of brothers who finally understand each other where mutual respect is off the charts.
What makes a special friend?
Someone who will be there for support without asking questions or expecting anything in return. Some of my closest friends are on opposite ends of the political spectrum but we were there for each other when needed. Real friends check their egos at the door.
Someone who can be a sounding board when it comes to health, business or personal relationships. True friends will listen without waiting on their turn to speak. It’s not easy to be on either end of the comment:” I think you were wrong and should make it right.” Pride and bullheadedness need to fly out the window. Believe me, I have been there.
Someone who finds joy and fun in life. I am the luckiest man on Earth to be surrounded with great friends who enjoy laughing. It can be at each other or more important, at ourselves. With my friends, I am often the butt of many jokes and laugh as hard as they do. Remember: Laughter is usually the best medicine.
Someone who keeps everything in perspective with you. The answer to many questions is often answered with another question: “What difference does it make?” True friends will look at each other like cows looking over a new gate and realize that energy placed on something which doesn’t matter is WASTED energy. Think about social media and some of its mindless content.
The next time I mention something about a “dear friend,” know that’s the greatest badge of honor in my eyes.
Forty acres of garlic is pretty strong.