Dear New Coach:
I wanted to write you an anonymous letter letting know what you are getting into. To me, coaching is one of the greatest fraternities on Earth. You will quickly learn that you will have more influence on a young man before breakfast than his parents will have the rest of the day.
If nothing else; don’t ever take that statement lightly. When you choose this profession, the pedestal comes with it. Their eyes are watching your every move, action and habits. The parents, the fans, the students and everyone in the community will be judging you 24/7.
This goes with the territory.
Take these words of wisdom from a former coach who made more than his share of mistakes but had the honor and privilege of being called “Coach” for 21 seasons. It has always been in my blood since I grew up as the son of a no-nonsense, hard-nosed, demanding coach who hated losing more than he enjoyed winning. World War II will do that to you. You might say the hatred of losing is still in my blood after 74 years.
One day when you have kids of your own, you will learn that coach’s kids can’t catch a break. If they start, it’s because their dad is the coach. If they don’t, it’s because you aren’t being fair or there are family problems. Develop thick skin and selective hearing. Coach’s with “rabbit ears” don’t last long.
You have been taught to treat every player the same. Forget that. You don’t treat them all the same: you treat them all fairly. Take time to learn their family structure, their circle of friends and their outside interests. In other words: what makes them tick. They are NOT robots. Some players respond to getting in their face. Others will go in a shell. Some need more praise than others. When you get that skill down, you can then start developing a team.
You will learn through experience that communication is everything. It’s funny how that translates to their lives outside the sports arena. You can know every scheme, concept, fancy play and perfect technique. If you can’t get it through to your players, you are cheating them. Ask them often to repeat what you just went over. As a coach, you will be surprised at the responses. Some of the smartest students in the classroom can’t understand the running backs job on the play I East Flex Slot, 106 Texas, X Square in, Z Flag on 2 is to check the Mike, then the Will, if no blitz, run an LOS weak checkdown. Never assume that the “slower” student can’t learn. That’s your job.
This next 2-word advice has become non-existent in today’s society: “Demand More.” There are only 2 remaining places that more is demanded: the military and athletics. It used to be in the family, the school, and the work force. Today, demanding more is usually met with a rebuttal that starts with the word “BUT.” “But, that’s not fair.” “BUT, you didn’t make Jeff do that.” “BUT, I don’t feel good.”
Your marching orders are to get the most out of your players. This can’t be done by cutting corners. If a drill is designed to touch the line, make them touch the line. Not coming up 2 inches short. If a meeting starts at 3, close the door at exactly 3 and start the meeting. It’s not fair to those on time to sit there and hear a coach say: “We will get started when Bill gets here.”
Players want to reach their full potential. Think of your own playing days. It will ALWAYS be memories and stories about overachieving and pulling together. Why? Because MY coach demanded more and the last thing I wanted to do was to disappoint him.
Too many parents my age remember the hard times which equates to the “good old days.” We grew up with the belief that hard work paid off. The harder you worked, the luckier you got. The coaches and teachers were always right. You respected authority in all walks of life. Coaches played the best players, not their favorites.
That has changed. Parents who don’t know if a football is blown up or stuffed can watch a You Tube video and know everything about football, the greatest game invented, in their mind. Speaking of parents, develop a standard protocol for dealing with parents. Here were mine:
I will be glad to meet with you about your son in person, never on the phone. People get too brave on the phone. Have them come to your office at 6 am and either have another coach present or record the meeting so there’s no misunderstandings.
Secondly, I will be glad to discuss your child’s strengths and weaknesses BUT as soon as another player’s name is brought up, this meeting is over.
Lastly, you have to remember that just “coaching,” is a small part of your job. You will be a father, a counselor, a babysitter, a chauffeur, a banker, a janitor, a plumber, a carpenter, a doctor, a cook, a referee, a role model and a best friend.
Welcome to the fraternity, Coach.
Your reward will be years from now when a former player tells you the greatest 7 words a coach could ever hear:
“You Made A Difference In My Life.”
You can do it. Because I believe in you.
Sincerely,
A forever coach.