Someone Else
Yesterday at church, our preacher, David Butler, led a blessing over the students, teachers, administrators and other school personnel that head back to school today. The message, like those at most churches, was to lift up and pray for all of them. Since the fundamentals at school such as the morning devotional and Pledge of Allegiance, are now a thing of the past, it’s up to “someone else” to keep it alive.
That “someone else” is us.
As we think back on the past, live in the present and dream of the future, how often do we pause and realize that “someone else” will always be there? Unfortunately, it’s not always a positive influence.
Children for generations have always looked for role models. In the “old days,” it was the parents, the teachers, the grandparents, the coaches, the scoutmasters, the den mothers, the preachers and the good neighbors. When young eyes watched how parents treated each other and how they instilled work ethics, it made an impression.
When parents quit exhibiting a positive role model, they start looking around for “someone else.” Finding that “someone else” was easy. The drug dealer. The loser adult that allowed youngsters to break rules and laws since they wanted to be more of a buddy. That “cute” gesture started too many on the road to jail. Use your imagination here.
The easiest “someone else” was a gang leader. Kids cherish families of some kind. Fortunately, when we grew up, that family meant a mom and dad and kids who all lived under the same roof. Meals together, church together and loving together. Being a member of a gang, doesn’t have to mean going through an initiation and wearing certain colors. It can mean that slow pull into a ready-made family of losers.
Everybody, whether they admit it or not, loves to be part of a family/group of some type. The attraction to a gang is actually easy to understand. The other gang members become new brothers and sisters, without strict rules to live by like parents might instill. In this case, “someone else” becomes their role model. Grooming habits, manners, honesty, life skills, goals and dreams are often clouded.
As a former educator and coach, I am a huge advocate of being part of a “team.” That is not limited to athletics. To me, becoming part of an organized group (band, cheerleading, choir, SGA, fishing club, FFA, Scouts, Big Brother/Sister) changes lives.
It’s really ironic that the youth who end up in some kind of trouble are rarely part of a team or organized group. It seems that the usual description is that the person was a “loner.” They didn’t have that “someone else” to set a positive example for them. There is nothing wrong with being a loner but there IS something wrong with individuals who have no social interaction with others.
Today, the missing “someone else” becomes the internet and addictive gaming, hours upon hours. When you see poll after poll saying that many kids would rather spend time with their electronic device than spend time with their best friend, it explains who their “best friend” happens to be.
This is where we have to become the “someone else.” How do we do that? The best way is by setting an example, showing interest in others and asking questions.
Again, yesterday was a good example. Susan and I joined our close friends Cindy and Ronnie Hall after church at a local seafood restaurant. At first, our young server seemed to be sullen and bored with her job. All four of us said it to each other after she took our drink order.
When she came back, I asked her where she was from. Her attitude changed. She asked me to guess. I said Crestview. She said: “Nope. I just graduated from Destin High School and I recognize Ms. Hall (Cindy) who worked as a sub at our school.“ Cindy asked her questions about her favorite teachers, and she became a different person. The young lady talked about her love for her high school and shared with us her college plans. She will be going to Jacksonville in the fall, majoring in business.
It was a simple gesture, but our server was treated as someone more than an order-taker. It was a follow-up on the preacher’s sermon about “It takes a village.” No, we don’t claim to be perfect role models but the so-called village includes all those we come into contact with.
To me, another way of becoming the “someone else” that others respect, is to do things for others, expecting nothing in return. I will keep beating the success drum of the St. Jude Trail Ride in north Alabama. Every kid, and I mean EVERY ONE of them who attends the 3-day event, see examples of “givers” that can’t be put into words. That third weekend in July, changes lives. Many of them are attendees in addition to the childhood cancer warriors.
Too many times when we are asked to step forward, we reply :”Let someone else do it.”
Thank God that we all have the opportunity to be the “someone else” in the lives of these youngsters.