Just Sayings
When you grow up in the red clay of north Alabama, you learn certain sayings or phrases that stick with you for life. Just like chiggers, beggar’s lice and cockleburs. A few of them might not make sense to others, especially those deprived souls raised up there where the first snowfall happens on Labor Day weekend.
For example, instead of saying “there’s no way,” we might say “that dog won’t hunt.” You gotta have a PHD (Poor, Hungry and Determined) to decipher these phrases. To explain the parts of a hog that we eat, it’s everything but the oink. Or, snooter to tooter.
After being on a sports radio show yesterday, someone asked me where those sayings come from? Like many of you, I say them without thinking. There are a few that I WISHED I had thought about it first. Instead of saying “get to the point,” I said the politically incorrect phrase “don’t tell me about the labor pains, just show me the baby.” AND, I was talking to a guy.
Many of my former players might remember a few of these:
When a player has potential, looks the part but is lazy, it’s easier to say “he looks like Tarzan but plays like Jane.” Today’s youth have no idea who Tarzan and Jane were. You might even add that he smelled like Cheetah, also. I’m not even sure if funny books still exist like the one’s Tater McCormack sold.
How about, instead of telling a linebacker to hit the running back with all your energy, tell him to “knock snotbubbles the size of golf balls out of his nose?” When you squat down and put your fists under your nostrils, believe me, they get the message.
We call a good-looking player who couldn’t play dead in a cowboy movie, as a
“first-off-the-bus player.” Old time coaches used to say that they wanted a specimen to get off the bus first to intimidate the other team and fans. He could also play guard, tackle and end, all at the same time. Sit on the end of the bench, guard the water bucket and tackle anyone who got near it. Others rode on the ROY bus. ROY stood for Rest of Yall.
Disgruntled players who are never pleased and have a tendency to drag other players down, are referred to as “lockerroom lawyers.” They keep things stirred up in the locker room and use the excuse about being “passionate and competitive.” Former players can think back on their playing days. These lawyers never had the guts to quit on their own but had to drag someone else along with them. Often, they might have talent but this cancer spreads through a team like wildfire.
A good quarterback with a great arm could throw “frozen ropes.” He could also throw it through a carwash without it getting wet. A dumb tackle couldn’t spell CAT if you spotted him the C and the T. A fast receiver could flip off the lights and be in bed before the room got dark. Now that’s fast.
There is a story about a recruit being given a one question exam for entry. “Can you tell me how many cookies are in a bag if I told you that you could have BOTH of them in the bag with the correct answer?” His answer: “3.” The professor said, “close enough.” He later made all-SEC at Tennessee.
To this day, I can remember my Dad asking a player a question who wasn’t paying attention and the player asked him to repeat the question, Daddy would ask “I asked if you think it’s gonna rain?” Before long, either bull-in-the-ring or bear crawls were just around the corner. By the way, bull in the ring and Okie drills helped make a bunch of players decide “they wanted to just concentrate on basketball.”
As a high school and college football coach, nothing would send you into a flying rage quicker than a player having to leave the game due to some equipment malfunction. Officials don’t stop the game for these repairs. To remind my players, my favorite mantra was: “check your snaps, straps, buckles and strings.” That was just a simple reminder that there was NO excuse for any of these 4 items tearing up.
In business today, I will still remind associate’s in training seminars to check your snaps, straps, buckles and strings. Obviously, that is symbolism to take care of the little things. In sales, it’s a little too late when you have the wrong form, no blank purchase order or a calculator which is dead. Your credibility just flew out the window. The potential sale was right behind it.
Which description best describes an older lady? “She was really old OR if she had another wrinkle, she would have to hold it in her hand?” Or to describe a big ole boy: “he looked like a model for Michelin Tires or Pillsbury Dough Boy?” Also, he hasn’t missed many biscuits. We had a player once whose belly was in a different zip code from the rest of his body.
I caught myself just last week, telling someone that the life jackets were “up under” the folding chairs in the truck. How can something be “up under?” Inquiring minds want to know. Where did that saying come from?
Someday, I hope to stand there with ole St. Peter and be asked the question about BOTH cookies in the bag as a condition for admittance. I just hope he rounds up when I answer “one.”
The other one was up under my robe and crown.